Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila | TEDxSBU



How to Be in a Married Relationship

How is love marriage different than arranged marriage? The person who was asking this was not married yet. All marriages should be filled with love, be they arranged or not.


Marriage is a journey which is like you met someone in a bus or planned the trip together and boarded the bus. The journey continues on the same path for both.

Steps

  1. Plan as one, not two.Plan for what? Well as an individual we all have goals just when we are getting married we need to combine the goals and re-align them as the common goal for each other. Goal of family/home. I have found two types of couple, one where one of the spouse is self sacrificing and another he/she is too bothered about himself/herself (read as dominant, ego etc). In both the cases an imbalance is created. In this relationship, i think the key is to consider both together and plan. It’s easier said than done. Always plan and expect that it will not be the same when it will come for execution.
  2. Execute as One.It becomes easy to execute anything as individuals rather than becoming one. If planning is done then execution can be tried as one. Execution as one does not mean execute the same thing, it means as per the interest, comfort level, individual strength and weakness, execute as per the personal common goal. Love and thank each other to be on track and always have defined metrics for each one to evaluate. Evaluation is the key for any execution as it keeps us in track to our goal.
  3. Tolerate each other's differences, and know that your love for one another supersedes all differences.Do not argue, criticize, condemn, fight, or yell.
  4. See and feel Love around.As most of us are so skeptical about everything and anything, we tend to always see what we need to do, if we are on track, if anything is missing, etc. Good things like love, hope they hide in detail, in small things which are easily missed. Fight not, because we love. Most of us love destination so much that we miss to appreciate and enjoy the present moment. "Love is all around. " We miss to see as we are too focused to watch our self right in future.
  5. Signals.If one individual has lost his opinion in the relationship, understand it will do harm to the relationship in the long run. Remember, most of us are busy dying, understand, think and get busy living. If this relationship is not living and is dead most chance is that you will start busy dying. "Get busy living, Get busy dying" - Shawshank Redemption
  6. Remember the golden rule.Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. You can sleep as individuals, but never wake up as individuals.

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  • If you are too much fighting with your spouse between two point of time, please go away for 2 weeks from each other and if you really miss him/her instead of been institutionalized, you will appreciate the love around.





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Date: 11.12.2018, 08:37 / Views: 91192