13 legitimately hilarious reasons women have broken up with someone
Break ups aren't always a sad and sorry affair. Sometimes, the reasons behind ending it are pretty damn ridiculous... as this lot would tell you.
1."I broke up with my college boyfriend becausehe wouldn’t stop calling me 'bro'. 'Hey breh can you grab me some water?'. He was a surfer."[via]
2."He would kiss his whole family on the lips.(My family doesn't do this so it shocked me quite a bit). It was very disturbing to me. I was always told to blow kisses or kiss on the forehead/cheek. I went home wearing his mothers lipstick. It was disgusting."[via]
3."I broke up with a dude because he walked too fast. He was 10 inches taller than me and a self described 'fast walker'. I was constantly asking him to slow down. He’d say OK and then three steps later, I’m jogging to keep up with his long legged ass again. We were out on the town one night and I was wearing a mini dress with high heels. The area of town is older but trendy and has cobbled streets.
"Three steps later, I’m jogging to keep up with his long legged ass again"
"I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in a bar window and I was literally jogging in four inch heels on a cobbled road. It occurred to me that I was probably going to spend the next 10years of my life chasing this idiot. So I just stopped and turned into the bar. It took him a few minutes to realise I wasn’t following him. I didn’t answer the phone when he called, and never spoke to him again."[via]
4."Honestly....his dick was too big. Perfectly loveable dude, great personality, handsome, but goddamn did I fear [penis in vagina sex], and he had a hella high sex drive."[via]
5."Revealedhe had a fedoraand wore it once with me. No."[via]
6."This is weirdly specific, buthe wouldn't stop talking about black holes! He would talk endlessly for hours about them. He thought quantum physics was his hobby. While he was quite informed about the subject, it was so annoying. He would use his 'knowledge' to extrapolate about time, society, philosophy. Somehow he always was able to relate all conversations to black holes. To this day, I can't stand anyone who talks about black holes because of it."[via]
7."He had the same first name as my brother. How am I supposed to moan it during sex?"[via]
"His astrological chart said he would die early if they got married"
8."I was in middle school and he was in high school, and I broke up with him because he had 'sausage fingers'. I actually stole the term fromShrek 2, he was a big dude and he was tickling me, which I hated. I told him to stop, he didn't listen, andI ended up with bruises on my sides from his sausage fingers. I also figured he wouldn't listen when it really mattered. After I broke up with him he began to stalk my sister who he went to the same high school as us."[via]
9."I've broken things off a couple of times in the early stages of datingbecause he didn't drink alcoholof any kind."[via]
10."My friend's ex boyfriend broke up with her because his astrological chart said he would die early if they got married.He even called his family's astrologist to make sureit wasn't a mistake..."[via]
11."This guy wanted to sit on my face. He was not small."[via]
12."His nose hairs were really long. Like curling out of his nostrils long.
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