10 Things Guys Don't Understand About Your Bed
I don't know where the hell women shop for bed stuff (Bed, Bath and Beyond, I guess? I've never been in that store), but they somehow are sleep wizards when it comes to constructing the ultimate slumber apparatus. Every girl bed I have ever come in contact with (nay, melded with) is so much better than any bed I've ever owned and I can't wrap my head around why.
1. How is it even possible for this bed to be so comfortable?I thought I knew what a bed was. I think I've been sleeping on a cot this whole time.
2. How many bobby pins are in here?What happens when you go to sleep at night? I think we could melt these down and make a bronze ingot out of them or something.
3. What is the point of these pillows?Why can't I sleep on them? Why did you buy them if you can't do anything with them? Why are they so frilly? I have so many questions.
4. I woke up spooning a stuffed animal and I don't know how to feel.It was the best night's sleep of my life, but I also woke up nuzzling a stuffed penguin. I didn't even know there was a stuffed animal in the mounds of this comforter somewhere.
5. Why do you ever leave this bed?More importantly, how do you leave this bed? I've sunken so deep into the mattress that I can't see the horizon.
6. How many layers are there to this?Is there even a mattress, or are there just piles of memory foam on top of a bedspring?
7. ARE THERE THREE SEPARATE SHEETS UNDERNEATH THE COMFORTER?Is there an etiquette to this? Do I go under all of them or is one just for show? Is this some kind of elaborate trap, like a cozy spider's web?
8. What mythical animal did you have to kill so you could fill this blanket with feathers this soft?Seriously. You don't get something this amazing without having to do something terrible for it.
9. Are you sure you want to have sex in this bed?I feel like we'd be tarnishing something pure.
10. Can I just stay here while you go to work?I'll tell them I'm lost in a sea of comfort. They'll know. They'll understand.
Video: 10 Things Women Don't Realize About Men
How to Study Online
What Ryan ONeals Prostate Cancer Diagnosis Really Means
Vegan Recipes: 7 Meatless Meals That Will Still Fill You Up
Prince Philip Looks Just Like His Grandson Prince Harry in This Throwback Photo from 1957
Which Vintage-Inspired Hairstyle Do You Like Better On JessicaAlba
Tiera Skovbye on Riverdale’ Fan Theories and Polly’s Mysterious Farm
How to Stop Joint Pain Using Apple Cider Vinegar
How to Keep Hope Inside After World Tragedies
This Easy Tool Shows You How Much of the Solar Eclipse Youll See
Melissa McCarthy Posts Epic Picture of Ghostbusters Female Cast and Crew
It Is High Time To Rock Your Short Curly Hair
Jennifer Aniston May Be Pissed About Justin Theroux Joining Instagram
Anti-Aging in Your 20s: What You Need (And What YouDon’t)